The Whole Truth

It's time for some honesty.

 *deep breath*...

I love you. I really, really love you.

A lot. 

Maybe even too much, because believe me when I say that there is nothing you can do to ever change that. 

I am stuck to you like an incredibly effective super glue. There is absolutely nothing you can do or say to make me love you any less, and I also cannot possibly love you any more than I already do. 

If my love for you was plotted on a graph with ‘time’ on the x-axis and ‘amount of love’ on the y-axis, this is what you would see: A steady increase followed by a steep incline, and then a plateau up to this moment. There can be no more increase, my love has reached its peak. My heart is fully saturated. No, in fact, it’s overflowing – it’s practically pouring out of me but the supply is endless. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? 

There are times when I don’t even know how l got to this point, but then I think of you and it becomes so obvious. You know how most of the time when you love someone, you don’t really know why? Well, I know exactly why I feel the way I do about you because when I look at you, it is staring me straight in the face. 
First of all, and most importantly, I see a good heart. I see kindness, loyalty, confidence but not arrogance, strength but with enough fragility to be malleable and flexible, pride but not so much that you build walls around you. I see all my own morals and values mirrored in you. I see everything that I love most in the world in you; if they took away everything good in the world and left me with you, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference – that’s what I mean. Your flaws are just miniscule anomalies to me. They don’t really affect the final result. Every time I’m around you my pupils dilate, there’s an influx of dopamine and norepinephrine released into my brain, like you have no idea. My body is telling me that I should procreate with you because my offspring need half of your genes. To go against that feels like going against nature.

To finish off, I would just like you to know that it would be convenient if I could have you in my life for at least forever. I love being in your presence – even if we’re not talking, not touching, not even looking at each other, I’m just happy to bask in your aura. I could actually just be around you for the rest of my life, just sit by your side, just as long as I could be next to you because that’s how amazing you are in my eyes.

Now love me back.

Maybe I'm just a little bit in love with you...

Feel.

No really, I’m okay. 
I really am. 
Well actually, I don’t know, I think I’m okay. I feel okay.
It’s hard to tell at this point because I feel like a grenade. Actually no, I feel more like one of those big, explosive ball type things with spikes that you find chilling out in the ocean just waiting for something to hit them hard enough that they explode. What are they called again? Naval mines, I think. Yes, that’s it. That’s how I feel. I feel that there’s a possibility (a very high one) that I may blow up if the right amount of force is applied…but then again, I also may never blow up. However, they have an inability to leave me alone. They can see that I’m dangerous and unstable, but they’re always poking me, prodding me, pushing me to the edge. They want me to detonate.

The Flipside

Ok, enough is enough. It's time to stop being a whiny little bitch. Stop listening to sad songs and start listening to badass "I'm way too good for you anyway" songs. I know, I know, you don't want to stop feeling sorry for yourself, but feeling angry and revengeful is way better anyway. Ok maybe that's not advisable, but feeling like you're above a situation puts you back in control. Self esteem goes up and you therefore automatically gain awesome points. Well done. 
Awesome new you - 1
Douche frog who broke your heart - 0
And gentlemen, don't think I'm being biased just because I'm a woman. We can be monsters sometimes, so I've tried to find some songs that you can be mad and manly too as well.
Let's do this.


So I've separated everything into categories (because I'm cool like that).


I'm over it and I'm better than you anyway:


Never Will Be Mine - Rye Rye ft. Robyn
"Hope she makes you happy or whatever, learn from the past - proceed, get better"

Rye Rye and Robyn take a tragic love song and give it a whole new perspective, turning it into pure awesomness.

Survivor - Destiny's Child

"Thought I couldn't breathe without you, I'm inhaling. Thought I couldn't see without you, perfect vision"

I think it's safe to say that this song became an anthem for women everywhere.

The Best You Never Had - Leona Lewis

"What you didn't see in me, well that's what you will never be"

The lyrics are on point. 

Eamon - I Don't Want You Back

I can't even put a quote.

Or a video.

But you get the idea...

Take A Bow - Rihanna

"You look so dumb right now standing outside my house, trying to apologise - you're so ugly when you cry"

Big fan of sarcasm, it always gets the point across whilst making the other person feel like an idiot. 

So What - Pink

"I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool so..."

Yeah, I'm a rock star with rock moves and stuff so in your face.

Janet Jackson ft. Missy Elliot - Son Of A Gun

"I'm doing better without you and I'm happy without you"

Boom.

Go On Girl - Ne-yo

"Not a feeling in my chest, baby I'm feeling no stress, I'm too fly to be depressed"

The lyrics are self explanatory. Whatever man, no stress.

Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce

"You turned out to be the best thing I never had and I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had, I bet it sucks to be you right now"

We weren't over yet but I'm sick you now so get out:


Call Tyrone - Erykah Badu

"I'm gon' tell you the truth, show and prove or get the boot"

Absolute perfection. Brilliant.

How Does It Feel - Keri Hilson

"You can keep on feelin' yourself, I'ma be with somebody else, better keep it real with yourself before you end up by yourself"

Not quite the aftermath of a break up yet, but she's getting there, and it feels good.

Irreplaceable - Beyonce

"So since I'm not your everything, how about I be nothing - nothing at all to you"

To the left, to the left.

I'm still angry at you and feeling somewhat revengeful:

Rolling In The Deep - Adele

"See how I'll leave with every piece of you, don't underestimate the things that I can do"

Probably one of the best post break-up songs ever. If I were her ex-boyfriend, I'd be ashamed. Ashamed and remorseful.

Body - Teairra Mari

"Just watch me, your new girl is so not me"

Perfect song for when you look smokin' hot and his new girlfriend looks like a man.

Hit 'em Up Style - Blu Cantrall 

"And I paid all the bills about a month too late, it's a shame we have to play these games, the love we had just fades away"

I have always wanted to do this, I can almost feel how good it would be.

Bust Your Windows - Jazmine Sullivan

"I must admit it helped a little bit to think of how you'd feel when you saw it"

She must have been really angry. She didn't just scratch his car or puncture a tyre - she broke all the windows. Wow.

Thanks, you actually did me a favour. A*****e

Thank  You - Jamelia

"You broke my heart, made me strong - thank you."

There's nothing worse than when you hurt someone and they're like "Thanks, you actually helped me. I feel sorry for you"

Fighter - Christina Aguilera

"'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through, so I wanna say thank you"

Another thank-you song. And the dark edgy video just makes you feel that much more uncomfortable.

I'm not quite over it yet but I'll get there:

Get Over U - Neon Hitch

"I'm taking a chance and I'm breaking free"

She's not saying that she's not in love anymore, but she'll get over it.

Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake

"Your bridges were burned and now it's your turn to cry, cry me a river"

If you cheat on J, you must be out of your mind.

Bonus Track:

Beyonce Knowles is a Queen.

Songs of Lost Love

Everyone’s experienced it. Well, at least I think so. 

When you’re 16 you think you’re the only person in the world to ever go through it but in reality, there are millions of people in that very same position. It doesn’t make it any easier to think of things that way, in fact, I’ve noticed that we’d much rather victimise ourselves than really put our situation into perspective. It seems that misery really does love company. In a strange sadistic sort of way, it almost feels good to sit and wallow in your own self-pity whilst listening to music with lyrics that sound like the artist wrote it specifically for you. 

Yes, it feels like your heart is literally breaking because it hurts so much. Yes, it feels like you’ll never ever be happy again. Yes, at that moment in time, you feel like you will never be able to love someone else the way you love this person and if you can’t have them, you’ll just have to spend the rest of your life alone and learn how to reproduce asexually. So basically, you feel like a piece of dog do-do, but you will not put on some happy music and put a smile on your face. People love to feel sorry for themselves and that’s just how it is.

The pain of rejection is sharp and effective. The emotion itself is confusing. It makes you feel so many other things: insecurity, worthlessness, sadness. You don’t understand why that person just doesn’t feel the same way about you. Why can’t they see in you what you see in them? Why can’t they feel that you’ve got so much to give? Whether it's a break-up or unrequited love, it doesn't hurt any less. At the end of the day, the fact of the matter is, you can’t force people to love you back, and that sucks.

So I’ve compiled a playlist of my favourite “I’m going to lie on my bed with my headphones in and cry” songs. 

In no particular order:

Be Mine - Robyn

"And I am helpless sometimes, wishing's just no good. 'Cause you don't see me like I wish you would..."

If you don't feel like tearing up even a little after watching this, you are truly heartless.

Hurricane Drunk - Florence and the Machine

"I hope that you see me 'cause I'm staring at you. But when you look over you look right through. Then you lean and kiss her on the head, and I've never felt so alive...and so dead."

Her voice is so powerful and absolutely beautiful. I love this song because it's honest and a hurricane is the perfect metaphor.

Unrequited Love - Lykke Li

"Once again it's happening. All my love is unrequited."

So tragically beautiful. 

What Can I Do - The Corrs

"What can I do to make you love me? What can I do to make you care? What can I say to make you feel this? What can I do to get you there?"

One of my favourite songs by them. Simple yet effective.

Dancing On My Own - Robyn

"I'm in the corner watching you kiss her. I'm right over here, why can't you see me? I'm giving it my all but I'm not the girl you're taking home..."

I don't know what's more epic - the song or her dance moves?

Someone Like You - Adele

"Never mind I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too."

Wow.

Fire Bomb - Rihanna

"I just wanna set you on fire so I won't have to burn alone, then you'll, then you'll know where I'm coming from..."

Such a dark sinister song, but it's empowering in a way. If I'm going down, you're going down too.

Nicest Thing - Kate Nash

"I wish that you needed me. I wish you knew that when I said two sugars, actually I meant three"

Heartbreaking and honest. One of those songs that describes exactly how you feel.

I'll Kill Her - Soko

"I thought it was a love story, but you're not ready for that..."

Funny & bitchy; not literal but kind of how you feel. The perfect combination.

Marvin's Room - Drake

"I'm just sayin', you could do better..."

Don't tell me you've never wanted to drunk dial someone and say this.

A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope

"It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven"

His voice is like water.

Never Ever - All Saints

"Conversations, hesitations in my mind. You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find. I'm not crazy, I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong..."

Oh the nineties, what wonderful melodrama.

Running Away - Hoobastank

"Cause I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrifice. I was the one who was lifting you up when you thought your life had had enough"

This song will never get old.

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart - Alicia Keys

"Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? Well you could try sleeping in my bed."

One of my favourite songs by her. It gives me goosebumps.

Vermillion Pt. 2 - Slipknot

"She is everything to me, the unrequited dream"

This song may have a much deeper meaning, but for me, it's about lost/unattainable love.

No One's Gonna Love You - Cee-Lo (Band of Horses cover)

"No one's gonna love you more than I do"

It might not really be particularly about heartbreak, but that moment you realise how much you love someone when things are falling apart is so distinct.

Love Has Left Your Eye - Titiyo

"Love has left your eye, no matter how we try baby everything will die."

Something you never want to admit or acknowledge, but you know deep inside that it's true.

Samson - Regina Spektor

"You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first, I loved you first..."

I prefer this version to the video version but both are just as chilling. I feel like she's speaking to my heart. I love you Regina.

And there you have it. There are obviously so many more songs and I'm sure everyone has their own favourites but these are some of mine. Please feel free to share your "sad moment" songs with me.